The Wellness Secret No One’s Selling: How Community Heals

The Wellness Lie We’ve Been Sold

When we talk about health and wellness, I feel like so much of our consumer-driven culture is obsessed with finding the perfect superfood or skin care routine. We are sold a “wellness secret” that turns out to be a lie—that if we attain perfection we will feel complete. That if we purify our bodies through diet and exercise, we will be radiant and perfect on the outside, finally attaining true superiority. This, of course, is pure and utter bullshit, not to mention impossible to maintain, even for Gwyneth, who is apparently unable to resist carbs any longer (though she had a pretty solid run there).

I’ve run across a few aesthetically perfect women who are deep down feeling unfulfilled throughout my career. These were women who had all the money, all the access, all the things you think you need to feel complete. But if they were lacking in friends, family and purpose, they were still lonely, isolated, and often dealing with chronic disease.

So you see there is an opportunity for solidarity between socio-economic classes here. We share a common enemy—those selling the same false wellness secret to every woman, regardless of wealth or status.—they are running beautiful, wealthy women just as ragged as “the normies”, all in lofty pursuit of the completely unattainable. It’s not fair to any of us.

Beyond Youth and Beauty: What Women Really Offer

As women we are told we have to be youthful and beautiful to be relevant. But we as women know we have much more to offer society beyond our child bearing years. We bring wisdom, empathy and problem solving skills, gifts that we have gathered along our earthly journey. 

As we’ve walked our path we have learned that the body, mind and spirit are interconnected. We’ve made major strides in learning how to take care of our physical bodies to attain optimal health, but have we paid the same attention to our mind and spirit? The real wellness secret may lie in nurturing those, not just our bodies. Because if our obsessive workouts, diets and skincare routines aren’t making us healthy, what could possibly be missing? My guess is that it lies in something else. Maybe something that’s a little harder for advertising agencies and corporations to monetize. Maybe something that every civilization since the dawn of time has had as a key element to its success: I’m talking about Community. This is the key to healing our mind and our spirit.

My Season of Isolation

Now I’d like to share a little bit about my personal situation. Several years ago I found myself living on a really beautiful piece of land that was outside of the city. I had a nice garden, great walking trails, and to be honest, I was very grateful for my little hide out during the pandemic.

But like a lot of other people in our society, I found myself very isolated. Partly because I was living in the middle of nowhere, but when I look back, I realize now that I also had a completely different set of interests in my 30’s as opposed to my 20’s. I was looking to lead a healthier lifestyle. I loved physical activity and being outside. It was a 180 degree change for me. Drinking was not really aligning with my priorities anymore, so it was harder to connect with some of my old friends. And others were busy raising their children, or had moved on to other parts of the world. Our nights of dancing til 3am or going to hear a band play in East Atlanta were long behind us, and it was time to start acting like a grown up.

I didn’t know how to acclimate. I also worked mostly by myself, which is hard because I am naturally a collaborative animal. And so I longed for connection, not just personally, but in my professional life as well. This just compounded the problem.

Trying to Reconnect

Finally I got fed up and decided to do something about it. I remember my first attempt; searching through venue websites for concerts and art gallery calendars for upcoming exhibits, just trying to find events I’d be interested in. It helped a little. From there I also thought about ways to network. I started off joining a group called LetsTalkWomxn, but the Atlanta chapter kind of fell apart quickly. Next up I joined Les Dames d’Escoffier Atlanta chapter. Both of these are professional organizations, geared towards building camaraderie between women in food and beverage. I enjoyed the networking in these groups, but I felt kind of listless. I was still itching for something I couldn’t yet name. Then Slow Food Atlanta entered into my life. 

Finding My Place in Community

I’d heard about Slow Food for years, and been to several events. It is an organization that is dedicated to good, clean, fair food for all. I definitely aligned with those values, so when I was asked to join the board, I said yes. A year later, when the board chairs stepped aside and I was asked to step up to co-lead the chapter, I decided to give it a try. I’ve got to say, it’s been a lot of work. The board is filled with an amazing group of people, and my co-chair is an absolutely amazing person, yet it is still completely overwhelming sometimes. Especially since I’m trying to launch my website EverydayAlchemy.com at the same time. 

Still, when I weigh everything out, it has been a net positive experience. Why? Because I am thrilled by my life. I get to meet so many new and amazing people on a weekly basis. I care about these people, and I feel like they care about me. They are aligned with my values and are working to make the world a better place. 

Community as a Path to Wellness

I cannot stress this enough– connecting and collaborating with my community is fulfilling my sense of purpose in a way that no cosmetic procedure, expensive handbag, pair of shoes or car ever did. What we all need is what has helped every single civilization survive and thrive– we need connection. 

I’m not here to tell you I have all the answers to finding your perfect balance of health and wellness, but I know what’s worked for me. And I know that these companies out here telling you that you’ve just got to try harder to eat better and look better than all your neighbors are absolutely lying to you. What kind of wellness secret is that?!

Finding community is a crucial piece of the puzzle when it comes to wellness. It can help to fend off stress, depression and even chronic disease. Our community connections help increase our access to resources and create improved social support.

How to Start Building Community

So what are some actionable steps you can take? As mentioned through my journey, I think engaging in professional organizations is a great start. Do you know of some networking groups in your industry? I’m sure they are looking for volunteers or members. A lot of social organizations have struggled with member engagement and attendance since the pandemic. Your presence is desperately needed for these groups to thrive, so don’t be nervous!

Here’s a true wellness secret: being a part of something bigger than yourself will energize and sustain you. Most of all, think about the type of person you are becoming. I highly recommend getting involved in some causes you believe in. Have your interests and hobbies changed? If so, go after groups that align with those interests, not the old ones that no longer suit you. This will help you build friendships with people that are easier to sustain over the coming decade, because you’ll find yourself less likely to grow apart from each other. Identify 2 or 3 causes that are dear to your heart and contact them or show up at their next event and see how you can make an impact. I assure you your time and energy will be rewarded ten-fold.